Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Scary Barry

From the Washington Post: MLB to Announce Steroid Investigation. Huh? I feel like there's been a steroid investigation going on for, like, the last three or four years. What were all those baseball players doing in Washington talking about steroids, if not a steroid investigation? I know, I know, they were Congressional hearings. But steroids are sooooooo boooooring. No many how many investigations they do, everyone's going to say they wouldn't even know what a steroid looked like, and if they failed their drug tests maybe it's because someone slipped something into their, uh, intravenous injections, and everyone will know it's a lie as big as their biceps. But dude, I don't think I would fuck with Barry Bonds. According to the stats on his website, the man is 6'2" and 230 pounds. And using steroids. If he said, "I don't use drugs," and punched his fist into his baseball glove, I think I'd say, "Whatever you say, Mr. Bonds," and run and hide behind a chair.


Blogger Preston said...

Back in the day when Mark McGwire was still hot stuff, I remember hearing this NPR report comparing McGwire's physique to that of stubby little Babe Ruth. The anchor asked some specialist what had changed in baseball, as it was obvious to everyone that the big sluggers of the sport were no longer lovable little comic relief figures, but hulking guys with necks the size of their heads. The specialist's response? They're trained differently these days. Perhaps part of that training involves substances usually used on race horses and angus bulls.

5:46 AM  

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