From the Washington Post: MLB to Announce Steroid Investigation. Huh? I feel like there's been a steroid investigation going on for, like, the last three or four years. What were all those baseball players doing in Washington talking about steroids, if not a steroid investigation? I know, I know, they were Congressional hearings. But steroids are sooooooo boooooring. No many how many investigations they do, everyone's going to say they wouldn't even know what a steroid looked like, and if they failed their drug tests maybe it's because someone slipped something into their, uh, intravenous injections, and everyone will know it's a lie as big as their biceps. But dude, I don't think I would fuck with Barry Bonds. According to the stats on his website, the man is 6'2" and 230 pounds. And using steroids. If he said, "I don't use drugs," and punched his fist into his baseball glove, I think I'd say, "Whatever you say, Mr. Bonds," and run and hide behind a chair.