Ode to Massachusetts

Gosh, I love Massachusetts. I think I've only been there once, but that doesn't stop me from loving it. I love it so much, in fact, that I have to write a poem to express my feelings. A critic might say, if you love it so much, why don't you marry it? To which I say, if there were ever a state that would allow me to marry it, it's probably Massacusetts. Now, without further ado, my

Ode To Massachusetts

Massachusetts, we thank thee
For your liberality.
E'er since the Mayflower dropped its anchor
You have been the red states' canker
Your grudging embrace of religious freedom
Expanded to even those who don't heed Him.
Workers' rights warped Lowell's loom
And the Kennedys issued from thy womb.
Gay marriage allowed, despite stumbles and trips,
And somehow there's been no Apocalypse.
A recent suit fights sodas in schools,
Claiming the drink industry takes us for fools.
Now there's universal health insurance--
Thank you, ole Mass, for your liberal endurance.