A Real Duke of a Guy. This heading makes no sense.

I'll admit, I often feel bad for people who start crying in public. I have been known to do it myself on occasion, like every time I go to the movies, and it's embarrassing. But I don't feel that bad for Randy "Duke" "The Duke" Cunningham, who resigned today as a U.S. Representative for California, after pleading guilty to charges of bribery, fraud and tax evasion (I'll admit, I threw in that second "The Duke" myself - but it sounds good, right?). Here's what I know about ol' Randy, all of which I learned today, since I had never heard of him before.

1. He received millions of dollars in bribes from the CEO of a defense contracting company (plus a Rolls Royce and a yacht, which he lived on! anyone who sees any family member of a Congressperson driving a Rolls is advised to immediately contact authorities - they really shouldn't be able to afford them).

2. He then wasted millions of dollars in taxpayer money by underreporting his income by 90% and passing along sweetheart contracts to his CEO friend Mitchell Wade as well as other bribing contractors.

3. This was also bad because it's cheating. Cunningham served on the defense subcommittee of the House Appropriations Committee and as chairman of the House Intelligence subcommittee on terrorism and human intelligence, and he directly abused those positions.

4. Cunningham is a decorated Vietnam fighter pilot who served as an instructor at Top Gun.

Wait, wait, hold up. Someone be a veteran and an asshole? I am so confused. That contradicts The Truth About Patriotism. My head hurts.

I hope someone with a Wall of Shame for corrupt Congresspeople will put him on it, along with Tom DeLay, Bill Frist, and the rest of 'em. I would do it myself, except I don't have one.