Give me a Hummer... Laptop

Sayonara, sista! To no one's surprise, Judy Miller has departed the NYT.

In any case, I can't believe I missed this: Hummer merchandising. To wit:

This [Hummer Fragrance for Men] "olfactive sensation that can only be Hummer," Riviera's Web site declares, "imparts a healthy brawn in a veneer of sophistication."

But this is not just fragrances we're talking about here. There's a laptop that you can throw out of a plane or something, a spring-loaded money clip, for whatever cash you've got left after filling up your gas tank, and logo golf balls, for hitting off the top of the mountain that you'll drive to in your Hummer. What's that? You only use your Hummer to drive around your totally flat town? Oh. To the driving range, then.

For some reason I thought that having a Hummer was kind of embarrassing, like advertising the fact that you have a really small penis or that you lacked the foresight to imagine the spike in gas prices. But apparently I was wrong, and you should dress your family in Hummer apparel from head to toe.