Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Ozzy and Harriet

Look, I know that Harriet Miers is not an attractive woman. I know that she resembles Ozzy Osbourne, Jerri Blank, Emperor Palpatine, and Salacious B. Crumb. But why can't we make fun of her dubious qualifications, the eerie confidence of Focus on the Family's James Dobson, or her apparent commitment to letting Bush do whatever he wants?

I'll tell you why: because it's not as funny as her eyeliner. The thing is, though, you don't hear people saying, "Max Baucus is so ugly he has a picture of a horse instead of himself on his homepage," or, "Dennis Kucinich looks like a little elf." Okay, maybe that's a bad example. My point is not that we shouldn't make fun of women for being Ugly People. My point is that Ugly People have a hard time getting elected to national office, and so, with his broad commitment to diversity, the President has no choice but to appoint them to maintain the beautiful rainbow that is the United States government. Don't stand in his way, people, don't stand in his way.


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