Apple Core

If you don't have the "inside track" on "technology" like I do you may not have heard about this, but Apple is having a press conference tomorrow, at which some major announcements are expected. I know you're feeling jaded, tricked, because the last time someone told you he was going to make a major announcement, all you got was more of the same old schlock. But this is Steve Jobs. It's different. And I think we can expect that he's telling us the truth, if you consider the news that Apple is going to produce more groovy gadgets that play noises and make pretty pictures and inexplicably die after three months a major announcement. I know I'm breaking some blogger code of ethics here by saying this, andilovemyibookdon'tgetmewrong, but I. Don't. Care. I like quiet every once in a while. Sorry.

But all that is beside the point, because my double super secret source inside the Apple lair has leaked the content of tomorrow's announcement:


The iScort is a pretty lady robot who can accompany wallflower Apple geeks to social functions. She talks, walks, computes, reboots, and has hi-def lady parts. Hair color optional; body available in brushed metal only.