Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Indian Points

I have some bad news, some good news, some more good news, and some more bad news.

:: The bad news is that radioactive materials have been found in the groundwater at Indian Point, the nuclear reactor in Westchester County. This might have something to do with the cracks in the pool where the spent reactors are kept. Also bad is that
A large radioactive release triggered by a terrorist attack on or accident at the facility could have devastating health and economic consequences, rendering much of the Hudson River Valley, including New York City, uninhabitable.
:: The good news is that I have a Brita filter, and I'm pretty sure it will take care of all that radioactive shit in the water.

:: The more good news is that I checked out Westchester's handy-dandy emergency planning guide, and although I live in Westchester (shh! don't tell anyone), I don't live within the 10-mile super duper serious emergency evacuation radius. So I figure, the bizness goes down, I'm fine. I'm like twenty miles from the reactor. No problem.

:: The final bit of bad news, well, I'm not actually sure if this is good news or bad news. You know what? I'm going to call this one. Good news, plain and simple. Out in the Pacific Northwest, some rare and elusive species, including the tree octopus and the mountain walrus, have recently been captured on film for the first time. I think if enough radiation gets into the ground water, we can expect the emergence of equally wonderful and strange animals on this coast. Perhaps the Hudson River Sloth? Or the Great Pointed Archer?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Indian Point HAS brought out
a new and weird form of life--
The Toupe-headed Bent-nosed,
Lizard-eyed Flipflopper....
otherwize known
as Randy Andy Spano,
the man whose brain lives down the street in a woman's body
(Suzin Tolchin)
and whose vigorish for getting elected county clerk still iznt paid off
to the rafaele arredondo family
ten years later.

They oughta just give him a pizza parlor,
and let him make book,
like the other "family retirees".

I hear they already have a
nice Cadillac trunk
all picked out for him!

4:22 PM  
Anonymous john said...

holy crap that tree octopus is too damn cute!

8:03 PM  

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