Um.

Last night my yoga instructor (and yes, I am now officially obsessed with yoga. I realized if I just gave up this stupid writing thing, I could be doing yoga for, like, four hours a day!) said the following. And I quote:

"Feel the beautiful flames shooting from your buttocks!"

In the Mood For Love

Oh, criminy. New York City is creating its own brand of condoms. That Mike Bloomberg, he's never one to miss a marketing opportunity, like the ill-fated parternship with Snapple that resulted in the world's largest popsicle turning into the world's largest soupy mess melting all over the streets of Manhattan. But condoms, now, that's out-of-the-box thinking. I wish I could have seen the shit-eating grin on Bloomie's face when he announced that one. For some reason these condoms are color-coded to match the various subway lines (4/5/6 green, A/C/E blue, etc). I know people pin a lot of identity on their subway lines and all, but I feel like there are times when people should be thinking about other things besides civic pride. If they wanted to stick with the New York theme, why not print pictures of skyscrapers on the condoms? The Empire State, the Chrysler Building, that other building with the nice roof that I never know what it is... They're the perfect shape, the metaphor is hardly a stretch, and as a bonus, it's super classy - evoking a golden age in New York's storied history.

Y is for Yoga

Well, Lazy McGoo is back. I knew it had been a long time, but glory be, I didn't realize it had been almost two months! So sorry, friends. It's because in my mind I'm always writing blog posts. It's also because all I ever want to write about is my adventures at the Y, and I've been incredibly negligent of my exercise routine. But, with new years come new commitments to not turning myself into a bowl full of jelly, so I'm back at my favorite place. And today I did something new: Yoga.

I've taken a couple of yoga classes before (like, literally a couple), and when I was dancing we did a lot of yoga poses to stretch and work on our alignment and such, but practically speaking, I am a total newbie. So I went to a class called "Flow Yoga," which is basically a nice way of saying "Yoga for the Inflexible and Infirm." And I left feeling like my body might dissolve into a sludgy liquid. My legs trembled, my hips felt like they were about to separate from my body, and my lungs felt kind of like someone had taken a metal rod and opened up a little extra space in there -- good and painful at the same time. I have a lot of work to do.