Thursday, February 16, 2006

He's Beautiful on the Inside

I know I'm a little belated in posting about this, but the Westminster Dog Show was earlier this week, and Best In Show honors went to the colored bull terrier, Rufus.

Now, I am very happy for Rufus. As far as I can tell he's a brilliant, good-natured dog. And, you know, determining the character of dogs solely from their photographs happens to be a specialty of mine. But I feel compelled to express my serious doubts about the judging process. The judges have said that they awarded the silver bowl to Rufus because of the perfect egg shape of his head. However, this does not negate the fact that he is an ugly-ass dog. Just look at him:

Sure, he's got a great smile, but choosing Rufus as best in show just because he's the most attractive example of the least attractive breed of dog on the planet is like giving the Oscar to Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo because it was an exemplar of lame sequel production.

And I hate to break it to you, but I don't think you can really improve Rufus's self-esteem by giving him prizes - he knows he's ugly, and he knows you feel sorry for him and that's the only reason he won. You're going to have to assuage your guilt about the time you told your kid he'd never make it in the dog show judging business some other way.

photo by Kathy Willens/AP


Anonymous Preston said...

Doesn't Rufus look like the kind of dog who wears glasses? I think he might be wearing contacts.

6:28 PM  

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