Monday, September 19, 2005

Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?

Last night I was lying in bed, drifting off under a beautiful moon, when suddenly a terrible chill came over me. I sat up in bed, terrified, and cried, "It is finished!" Then I fell back asleep.

By "it," of course, I meant Brooklyn.

It seems that several months ago developers discovered the city's most populous borough, and massive residential towers are due to pop up in Williamsburg, the Downtown waterfront, and Prospect Heights.

Even worse, it appears that the New York Times, always at the forefront of investigative journalism, has sniffed out the presence of Brooklyn, previously thought to be a mythical land like Atlantis, or Nobu. A puzzled editor was reported to have said, "Oh, that's why they call it the Brooklyn Bridge!"

For all those who love their skylines to be dominated by nothing but a giant phallus or who otherwise think Brooklyn is a special place, these recent developments spell nothing but bad news. So, Brooklyn residents, I'm sorry to say that it looks like it's time to pack up your bags, put the kids in the 1991 Volvo station wagon, and head out of town. But there's this place I've heard about; I think it's called Manhattan?


Blogger Laura D. said...

Like a captain, I'm going down with the ship! Kidding...we seem to have solved the problem by moving to south brooklyn, or as I like to call it, "sowf BK!" We live across the street from the highest point in Brooklyn, and we can still see the obstacle-free skyline, just perfectly! :)

10:13 AM  

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