News Roundup for Chronic Hiccupers

During my time away, and then for a blessed day after I got back to the States, I did not read a single newspaper, log onto the internet, listen to the radio, or otherwise exercise my responsibility to be an aware citizen. So I thought it might behoove me to do a quick roundup of major news items from the last ten days or so.

1. Ariel Sharon had a stroke and has been in a medically induced coma, from which he is now being awakened.
2. 12 miners died in a tragic mishap in West Virginia.
3. Hundreds of Iraqis and scores of American soldiers have been killed through an intensified suicide bombing campaign in Iraq.
4. Tom DeLay agreed to step down as House Majority Leader because Jack Abramoff has agreed to spill the beans on their sordid arrangements.
5. A rogue CIA agent tried to stop the assassination of a middle eastern royal by his own agency. Oh, wait, that was a movie I saw the other day.

Fortunately it seems I've gotten back just in time for a new burst of avian flu, the plight of chronic hiccupers, Alito's confirmation hearings, and nuclear posturing from Iran. Good times, good times.