Wednesday, August 10, 2005


*I Spit on Your Stupid Walk

Ho hum, I thought, on what deserving victim shall I unleash my scathing wit? But it was no contest once I saw this, the America Supports You Freedom Walk. A commemoration of the fourth anniversary of the September 11 attacks, ASYFW will start at the Pentagon and conclude at the National Mall with a concert by country singer Clint Black; it inspires me to shriek with horror for a number of reasons.
--First of all, the name of this so-called walk is a syntactical nightmare. Many "news outlets" (ie blogs) have misnamed it as the America Supports Your Freedom Walk.
--So how are we to interpret all these "yous" and "yours"? Should it read, "America Supports You, Freedom. Walk!" or "America Supports. You--Freedom--Walk!" or "America Supports You (Soldiers) Freedom Walk" or "America Supports Your (Iraqis') Freedom Walk"? But what does walking have to do with Iraqis?
--For that matter, what do Iraq and the soldiers fighting there have to do with September 11? I'm sure you don't need to be reminded that the answer to that equation is, exactly nothing. For further clarification, please see the below drawing, by an anonymous yet obviously massively talented artist. It is sure to clear everything up.
--And, oh yeah, the ASYFW is jingoistic boosterism trading on the names of the innocent dead. Maybe we should rename it the "I Took My Helicopter Here So I Wouldn't Have to Talk to Cindy Sheehan" Walk, ITMHHSIWHTCHW.


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